Throughout the rest of the day word got out and we had so many visitors. People bring food, calling and letting us know they were thinking about us, just amazing nice things. I can honestly say we as a family were and still are truly grateful. We all spent the night over at the house that Monday night, none of us we're even thinking about leaving her side. I slept on the floor right next to her bed and got maybe a total of 3 hours of sleep, it was a very long night. Her breathes would get shallower and shallower as they went and you never knew which one would be the last. Believe me we thought a few would be the final ones. It wasn't until that afternoon that my grandma passed away. We were all in the room when she passed, and let me toll you the woman went out with a bang. There was a huge micro burst right as my grandma was taking her last few breathes, it was almost like she was saying "See ya later UT, I'm outta here, I'm going home!". Grandma always did have that spunky side ;)
Until you've been in the room when someone dies, you never know the peaceful calming feeling that is. I know it sounds weird, but believe me, you could feel the presence of our Savior there and moments later I felt the love of my Father in Heaven. It was funny and somewhat ironic , that Sunday before everything happened I had given a talk in church about the Atonement. I had really been struggling with picking a topic and the minute it hit me it was like a flood of emotions and thoughts. It wasn't a talk focused on the repentance process part of the Atonement, but more of how the it can take away and cover things small and simple things, and big large things that happen in our lives. Things that we wouldn't think the Atonement would/could cover. This scripture was the inspiration for the majority of my talk. Alma said in Chapter 7 of the book of Alma in the Book of Mormon:
"11 And he shall go forth, suffering pains and aafflictions and btemptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will ctake upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people.
12 And he will take upon him adeath, that he may bloose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to csuccor his people according to their infirmities."
The Savior knew what it was like for my grandma in those final few hours, He knew how scared she was and how sick, tired, and in pain she was. He knew what it was like for my mom and aunt to loose their mother, and the pain and sorrow and emptiness they felt. It's because of that ultimate sacrifice that He can "succor his people" and He can bring them closer to Him, and through that we can find peace, and hope, and look forward to a better tomorrow. I know my grandma is much happier now, and I know she's learning more about the gospel as I type this. Our family has struggled with loss of my grandma yes, but we have been made stronger and been given a better knowledge of the Plan of Salvation, and that there is life after death. I will say we have become closer and stronger and have more love for each other. Its kind of crazy how something so sad can give a family a better outlook on life, and make them closer. I'm grateful for a Savior who willingly died so that I can live with Him and my Father in Heaven again. I am also grateful for the Temple, and the work that goes on inside so that we as families can be sealed together again.
*Part Two of this post will be coming soon - pictures from NY and more about our trip back there. As for me I know need to go wipe off the mascara that has ran down my face from crying. :)*
